What Really is Resilience Anyways? How Do We Grab Hold of It?
What Really is Resilience Anyways? How Do We Grab Hold of It?
Have you ever heard the term ‘resilience’? Otherwise known as “bouncing back” or “skating through” times of turmoil, stress, or hardship. Individuals who have the ability to be resilient were once thought of as born with this special trait, however, in recent times, research has shown that this assumption is incorrect. Resiliency in fact can be learned, embraced, practiced, and enhanced. Let us first define its origin. In simple terms, dictionary.com defines resiliency as:
The power or ability of a material to return to its original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched: elasticity.
The ability of a person to adjust to or recover readily from an illness, adversity, major life change, etc.; buoyancy.
The ability of a system or organization to respond to or recover readily from a crisis, disruptive process, etc.
Psychologist Dr. Candida Condor, Psy.D. writes about the different genres of resiliency. She categorizes 4 domains as: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. Dr. Candida Condor states, “Resiliency in the physical realm represents fitness and stamina-focused nutrition - exercise, rest, and recovery. Mental resiliency relates to self-concept, global outlook, personal perspective, abilities to sustain focus, and the ability to execute the Serenity Prayer - ‘Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.’ Emotional resiliency being stability, safety, impulse control, emotional regulation, positive emotion, realistic optimism, and belonging. Lastly, spiritual resiliency meaning values and beliefs, empathy for self and others, reaching out to give and receive support and assistance.”
Due in fact with new research counter-indicating the popular belief that resiliency was considered an inherent ability, some have it, some do not. Research has indeed proven this assumption incorrect. So if we all have access to it … how do we get it? How do we find, grow, and develop our own resiliency? One suggestion is to take a moment to ponder about the following concept. The concept being, how can you incorporate Martin Seligman’s 5 Building Blocks of Flourishing in your day-to-day life? These Building Blocks are:
P-positive emotion
E-engagement
R-relationships
M-meaning
A-Accomplishment
Relating to P-positive emotions, think about ways to feel and hold emotions such as: pleasure, joy, warmth, comfort, and peace. With E-engagement, how can you live in the present moment? How can you engage with your strengths, children, self, community, family, and friends. With R-relationships, how can you attach, reach out, connect, and be with others? Regarding M-meaning, how can you be a part of something bigger than yourself, your world, your bubble? Lastly, A-accomplishment, how can you prioritize a better version of yourself?
Resiliency is not only feasible, doable, and reachable, it is a necessity. Practice, awareness, and emphasis are 3 roads to veering you onto the resiliency train. I leave you with a quote by Viktor E. Frankl: “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms - to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
Laura Widger is a NY State Licensed Clinical Social Worker with 15 years of experience in the field of emotional wellness and mental health. She currently works for CCA-Connecting Communities in Action and specializes in trauma healing with children and adults. She lives in Cattaraugus County with her husband, children, and German short haired dog. Laura personally and professionally strives to promote internal self leadership and the discovery of true genuineness and balance within.