Being There in Balance
Being There in Balance
How we show up in our circles and for ourselves
Being present throughout the experience of our life is an everyday practice. Many times a day I have to remind myself that it is unnecessary to stress about the future to-do’s or build an expectation around thinking something is going to go a certain way. Oftentimes I find myself going back to the past and digging up old hurts, or holding someone to who they were in days before. Doing this creates a lens that alters our reality, and sometimes can throw up blinders that keep us from truly experiencing the here and now. Breathing deep, staying open minded and accepting people with an open heart is something we can all work towards bringing to our world a little more in the day-to-day.
This practice can show up in so many ways. Seeing when someone could be lent a hand, or accepting the fact that you could use some help and asking for it. Picking up that piece of litter to help purify your surroundings instead of walking past it and thinking disdainfully about the person who littered or the area itself. Being soft and kind when needed, as well as being hard or aggressive when the situation calls for it. Balancing our lives and our communal connections is an ever-evolving relationship.
We all have folks in our world who we see as self-serving and uncaring, as well as people on the other side of that spectrum who give of themselves until they’re worn thin and don’t have enough left for themselves. It may be easy for us to think “that person is selfish” or “they are so kind and wonderful”. However, sometimes that uncaring person could be doing their own work because they didn’t have or weren’t given anything in their formative years. Maybe they seem like they don’t care or don’t want to help because they believe what you’re going through is yours to go through; that the task ahead of you is your challenge to accomplish and best accomplished on your own. That doing that work on your own is going to give you a sense of achievement and realization that you are strong and capable. On the other side, that giving person may be giving so much of themselves so that they can get praised, or be seen a certain way. Which in its own way is selfish. Perhaps they’re giving so much of themselves because they feel like they have to, to prove their worth or they feel that they aren’t worthy of love and appreciation without going the extra mile or giving everything they’ve got. This brings us back to how important it is to remember to care for and be kind to the most important person in our lives. Ourselves.
We can say our partners, our children or someone else is way more important to us than ourselves. It’s easy to understand why one would feel that way. But here’s the deal - without you, that relationship wouldn’t exist. Without you, that partner wouldn’t have a partner. That child wouldn’t have one of their parents. To a degree, it is very important to be self-serving. To remember to serve yourself love, happiness, and healthful things. To be soft with yourself when you need a gentle touch, and to push yourself and put the nose to the grindstone when you need that push. Showing up for yourself, giving your mind, body and spirit what it needs, enables you to continue growing and to be present, emotionally stable, and enjoyable to be around. It gives you the tools to fix what is necessary to fix in your surrounding environment.
Throughout the process, let’s try to remember to keep envy and negative judgement of others on a short leash, if not eradicated. The person who has it all, doesn’t. With all their blessings, they carry a weight as well. That mean or aggravating person? They likely display that way because of the love they didn’t receive or how they have been hurt and haven’t been able to let it go. We can’t do the work for people. We can possibly lead them to the path, but the person has to want to change. So in ourselves, let us embrace change. Let’s embrace evolution. Let’s take the steps forward to better ourselves, and keep our eyes open and ready to receive the messages of when a change could be made that will enable us to show up clearer for ourselves and for the whole, in a manner our hearts tell us is beneficial to the greater good.
You’re a gift. It’s time to start seeing that, so that you can give that gift generously and in the right avenues.