Hope and Peace Following a Sexual Assault on A College Campus
Hope and Peace Following a Sexual Assault on A College Campus
The ME TOO movement sparked a national crusade to help show survivors of sexual abuse that they are not alone. This movement helped improve awareness about sexual violence, showing just how widespread sexual harassment and assaults truly are. An incredibly courageous, heroic, and brilliant survivor from a local university is here to share her experience and to highlight that healing, wellness, and recovery are absolutely possible. Without further detail, let us jump in and hear from this phenomenal speaker.
QUESTION: Can you tell our readers a little bit about yourself?
SURVIVOR: I am a graduate from St. Bonaventure. I was a student athlete who got my bachelor’s degree in health science. I am currently pursuing a nursing degree. I am 21 years old. I am a survivor.
QUESTION: From your experience, how would you describe the college culture regarding sexual assault? How big of a problem is sexual assaults on college campuses?
SURVIVOR: I would say people brush off college sexual assaults. There were education forums where we talked about sexual assaults. However, sexual assaults and rape experiences are not taken seriously enough. I would often hear, “ha ha ha you just got drunk and slept with someone. You don’t or can’t know what really went down.” People often throw the terms “sexual assault” and “rape” around too casually. I personally think these terms should not be used unless these traumas occurred, or in times where serious conversations are happening. I think college students and faculty should use these terminologies when they need to be used or discussed. I think joking or using these terms lightly isn’t right. I don’t want sexual assault to be a taboo topic. There is an appropriate time and place to use them; in the dining hall throwing these words or terms out just isn’t appropriate. Across the board, students, administrators, coaches, and faculty can take this problem more seriously.
It really is hard to gauge how big of a problem sexual assaults are on college campuses. People don’t want to talk about it, acknowledge it, or report it. It took me awhile to realize I wanted to talk to someone about it. Everyone has their own paths to healing, and reporting is a personal choice of the survivor.
QUESTION: What are some common experiences, reactions, and feeling of survivors?
SURVIVOR: Guilt, anger, confusion, thoughts of not sure what to do or say next, and not seeing a clear path on how to get out of a hole are all too familiar. I would see the person who hurt me on campus and get bombarded with flashbacks. I would get triggered when someone would bring up sexual assaults. Even the mandatory training where sexual assaults on campuses were talked about was triggering for me. I did not know how to navigate being triggered. When I sought out professional help, this helped me sort things out. If you are being triggered and are having flashbacks and you don’t know how to stop them or make yourself feel better, that is an indicator that you need to reach out for help.
QUESTION: Do you have to report a sexual assault? If you do choose to report, where can you turn?
SURVIVOR: It is up to you to determine when and if you want to report. I wanted to talk about my experience first before I threw someone under the bus and reported them to the police. I found out I could report to a school counselor anonymously and that was as far as I decided to take it. You are in the driver's seat about who and how much you share.
At first I turned to friends, but sometimes they don’t always understand or know what to say. A counselor, advocate on campus, or therapist understands. I recommend you go to someone professional who knows about this and is trained on how to handle these types of traumas. You want to talk to someone who knows how to pick the pieces back up or handle when you are triggered. Friends and family members don’t always know how to pick the pieces up for you. Sometimes a hug won’t exactly help with what you are going through. If you have no idea where to start, talking to an advocate or therapist is a good place. I encourage you to talk about it. There is no harm in doing that. If you are confused and don’t even know how to process it, I encourage you to reach out to a professional; I don’t see that going poorly.
QUESTION: Is there hope for healing?
SURVIVOR: ABSOLUTELY! As cliché as it sounds, you have to dedicate the time and effort into working through it and know that you are not alone. You are going to have someone standing by you helping you through it. You might be scared to talk about it because you don’t want to re-live it, but this time in therapy you are going to have someone with you processing the trauma and developing a support system.
In closing, if you or someone you know has experienced a sexual assault, therapeutic support and advocacy needs are available. To get connected with a therapist in Ellicottville, call Laura Widger, owner of Inner Peace and Strength: Mental and Emotional Health, at 716-244-0089. To reach out for advocacy or case management needs, call Connecting Communities in Action at 716-945-1041.